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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27176813">Not My Cup Of Tea</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/revenantforces/pseuds/revenantforces'>revenantforces</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Happy Ending, Jealous Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), M/M, No Smut, Original Character(s), Pining</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 02:21:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>15,271</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27176813</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/revenantforces/pseuds/revenantforces</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>If he’d ever thought that Buck made a t-shirt look painted on, Eddie had been wrong. This man seemed twice his size, and he was unrealistically handsome. Like a Disney Prince or a 50's silver screen heartthrob, his chiseled features were flawless and classic. He was tall, broad-shouldered, and so physically stunning that Eddie was standing left behind while the rest of the group had gone up to meet him. He greeted them graciously and it appeared that everyone had instantly fallen in love; everyone including Buck.</p><p>*COMPLETE*</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evan "Buck" Buckley &amp; Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>207</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. First Impressions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Khalesprix/gifts">Khalesprix</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Huge thanks to Giorgia for coming up with the concept for this story and helping me work through it! I saw a prompt she posted on tumblr and everything went downhill from there. It's been fun so far and there will be a couple more chapters to come. Hope you all enjoy and thank you so much for checking it out!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You’ve seriously never tried it before?” Buck asked with obvious disbelief.</p><p>“I don’t have to, I told you. I don’t have your kind of problem, man,” Eddie countered less than sympathetically.</p><p>“Well, some of us weren’t so fortunate, and we have to resort to drastic measures.” Buck put his hands on his hips as he waited for Eddie’s response before he rolled his eyes when Hen walked up to the common area.</p><p> “Hen, help me out here- isn’t shaving your body, like, the worst thing about grooming yourself? It’s not my fault that I look better without a permanent sweater on my chest- Eddie just doesn’t understand because he’s naturally hairless and he likes to mock my pain.”</p><p>“Your pain- your pain is optional! Waxing is optional. How about you just embrace your body the way it is, let it grow out and stop torturing yourself all together. It doesn’t look as bad as you think it does,” Eddie said factually as Hen raised her hands and gave him a look. He wasn’t sure if it was because she knew that he was secretly in love with Evan Buckley and his heavenly body no matter how much hair it had on it, or if it was because the conversation was rather asinine and she didn’t have time for it.</p><p>“Oh, no, I’m not getting into this,” she bowed out quickly. “I just came up here to let you guys know we got a new recruit downstairs!”</p><p>Immediately the skeptical smirk dissolved from Buck’s lips and his skin went paler than Eddie had seen him in a while. He remembered how jealous Buck had been when it had been him coming in as the new guy. Buck was defensive, combative, competitive, and immature. Eddie instantly worried that this would be another situation of the same type and he straightened his back.</p><p>“I’m sure it’ll be great to have someone new around,” Eddie suggested as he watched Buck’s body-language change entirely. “We should go welcome them,” he encouraged as he caught his gaze.</p><p>Buck sighed and plead silently <em>do we have to?</em> as Eddie began to walk toward the stairs, sensing his close friend quietly seething in tow behind him. Originally, he was quite excited to meet this new person- whoever it was. But when Eddie saw him he felt his own face wash clear of any color and his stomach seemed to plummet into a puddle between his feet.</p><p> </p><p>If he’d ever thought that Buck made a t-shirt look painted on, Eddie had been wrong. This man seemed twice his size, and he was unrealistically handsome. Like a Disney Prince or a 50's silver screen heartthrob, his chiseled features were flawless and classic. His pearly white, perfect teeth blinded the room as he flashed Bobby a smile while he shook his hand and the warmth from his soul radiated through the sparkle in his eyes. Eddie could just tell that in his free time he was a volunteer chef at a soup kitchen for differently advantaged orphans and rescued dogs from puppy mills or something equally mushy and sincere. He was tall, broad-shouldered, and so physically stunning that Eddie was standing left behind while the rest of the group had gone up to meet him. He greeted them graciously and it appeared that everyone had instantly fallen in love; everyone including Buck.</p><p>The look usually reserved for Eddie had found itself fixated on this stranger and Buck seemed to have forgotten how to use his words as he stared with an admiring thirst while he told them a little about himself. Eddie used every ounce of will power he had not to scoff when he heard him talking. Of course he’d be British.</p><p>“And after that I was part of the Royal Marines, but that was only for a couple of years,” he said with a stately and proper timbre.</p><p>“The Royal Marines?” Buck repeated lustfully. “What unit were you in?”</p><p>“At my departure I was part of the 42 Commando,” he answered, obviously hitting his target.</p><p>“No. Way,” Buck fawned. “That is so cool,” he sighed like a fucking school boy.</p><p>“And you must be Eddie,” he guessed with his stupid voice and his stupid knowledge when Eddie finally found the strength to join his colleagues. “I’ve heard so much about you. Thomas, nice to meet you,” Thomas introduced himself as he stuck a welcoming grasp out in front of him. Eddie had to literally force himself to take it. </p><p>“Yeah,” was all he could compute under such duress. “You, too.”</p><p>“Hey, so, what was the most badass mission you ever participated in?” Buck interjected before Eddie could really have much room to say anything else anyway as he stepped forward, hoping to regain the eye contact he'd had before.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie had to stand there and listen as Thomas described boarding a ship full of terrorists to rescue American war hostages that had C4 taped to their ribcages and pretend like he was as interested as Buck obviously was. His tongue practically dangled from his gaping mouth as he drooled over how heroic this guy claimed to be with his velvety smooth tones and it was all Eddie could do to stop himself storming away from the circle that had formed around his story; which lead to another story, and then another. By the time he was finished talking Eddie had come to know that he was 36, an actual chef who studied in Paris “in his spare time” and spoke three languages. He’d taken care of his elderly grandparents until they each died peacefully in his embrace a week apart which then prompted a move across the pond. Thomas explained that he'd taken some shrapnel from a suicide bomber’s explosion at a shopping mall and had been looking to start his next chapter after being honorably discharged from the service.</p><p>“Maybe you can give me a break from the kitchen a couple of nights a week?” Bobby proposed gratefully when the subject of that night’s dinner came up. “Or maybe you can give me some private lessons? I wouldn’t mind being taught a thing or two by a trained gourmet.”</p><p>Everyone ooh’d and ahh’d their approval of the idea, but Eddie couldn’t believe that even their Captain was kissing his ass.</p><p>“That would be wonderful,” Thomas remarked genuinely. “I’ve never done private lessons but I’m sure I’d be willing if the interest were present,” he added while he looked directly at Buck rather than Bobby and Eddie couldn’t help but interpret that statement a different way when he saw him check him up and down.</p><p>Chimney and Hen seemed to notice, too. Eddie saw them give each other side-eyed cues as they both pursed their lips. Bobby kind of cleared his throat before he let a little chuckle slip out and the conversation hit a lull before the bell rescued them all.</p><p>“Alright, guys, time to ship out!” Bobby exclaimed to the team as soon as it stopped ringing and Eddie groaned internally because of the ridiculous nautical pun.</p><p>“Let’s see what you got, Broderick!” Chim said as he clapped Thomas on the back before they collectively ran toward the truck so that they could start the journey to their first call together.</p><p> </p><p>When they got to the accident they’d been dispatched to, it wasn’t as grisly as Eddie had been expecting when he heard that a sinkhole had sprung up amidst a culdesac in the suburban Los Angeles hills and devoured a young family on their way home. The car’s hood end stuck up from the ground while the back half was settling into collapsing soil, but it seemed easy enough to reach both passengers in the front. He suited up so that he could swallow his pride and go in alongside new guy Thomas to try and recover their dependents from the darkness before their lives were lost for good. On top of the traditional low-impact car accident type injuries, they’d been told to expect that the sinkhole would continue to sink as they destabilized the area- so time was of the essence. Eddie had been tasked with taking the reins on both parents since they each seemed conscious and alert, and Bobby left the two children in the back seat with their most recent addition Thomas and his biggest fan Buck.</p><p>Each of the kids were strapped into their car seats in the back of the SUV screaming and frantic with fright. But Thomas soothed them with his gentle nature and remained calm when he interacted with them each as began to assess their vitals through the open front passenger door after Eddie had extracted their mother and was ushering her on the relatively short trek to the surface. The front seat was accessible, but the back seat was completely sealed with the settled dirt and Buck and Thomas tried to decide the best course of action after each parent had exited the vehicle and climbed out to safety. But with the shuffling of their movement, the weight dynamic changed and the crumbling earth began to rearrange itself again and their openings on either side of the doors began to shutter when the foundation caved in. The car started to recede further into dirt and though they’d gotten the bumper anchored to the fire rig, the head of the 118 wouldn’t risk their mortal safety and a potential live burial of any of his crew.</p><p> </p><p> “Broderick, Buckley! Get back up here! We’re gonna have to try another approach!” Bobby ordered over the noise as Eddie watched the dirt begin to pin them to the cab on either side of the car, leaving them no choice but to escape before it smothered them entirely.</p><p>“If the vehicle continues to sink we’re gonna lose the bumper and those kids are gonna be in real trouble. We need to stop the momentum of the car before it drops any further-” Bobby began before Eddie felt his bravado come to his aid. Of course he wanted to save those angels, but his desire to impress Buck overtook him as he stared at Thomas while he was plotting a course of action at the rim of the cavern apart from the team.</p><p>“I’ll repel down, see if I can get the windows cracked with a car hammer, then I can pull them out,” Eddie determined. He psyched himself up to descend the dozen feet created by the slide when the car lurched backward violently as the layers it rested on disappeared. The midsize passenger vehicle was nearly straight up and down against the ledge, suspended only from being lost completely by its tether to the fire truck tied to a crushed metal frame beneath a plastic bumper that was peeling off like a bandaid.</p><p> </p><p>“We haven’t got the time!” Thomas interrupted him as he began to unclip his own clamps that secured him to the line meant to keep him safe should he fall and bent to lace them through the rungs and hook them into place around the grill between the headlights of the family’s Jeep.</p><p>“Broderick-” Bobby started sternly, but cut himself off when Thomas looked up at him as he prepared to jump down. Eddie found himself fuming despite the high stakes because if it had been any other of them, they would’ve been getting lectured about the dangers of showing off and stopped in their tracks; especially on their first day.</p><p>“I’ll be right back,” Thomas said casually with a confident grin as he hopped down onto the windshield.</p><p> </p><p>The team up top spectated as he positioned himself quickly and threw his entire force as carefully as he could against the passenger corner of the glass, getting it to pop out of place easily. He kicked it aside and entered the cab, using the back of the seat as his support while he made his move. Eddie sneered with a mixture of concern and disgust as Thomas produced a pocket knife from his short-sleeved uniform issued top’s breast pocket and flipped the blade out with his mouth. The only thing that made Eddie want to vomit more than his theatrically macho dramatics was the look on Buck’s face as he salivated over the sight. Eddie could practically see the blood draining from his cheeks as it headed south and he watched his tongue line his teeth hungrily.</p><p>Thomas cut one of the children free and went to relieve the second when Eddie was snapped out of his envious rage as the screech of slipping metal howled into the sky. When the SUV jerked, the knife Thomas had been holding tumbled from his grasp and he faltered against the leather, but he regained his composure in the blink of an eye and began to tug on the restraints of the remaining baby’s car seat. The sheer force necessary to snap the binding would’ve been astonishing under regular circumstances, but the fact that he was effectively being sucked into the planet made it all the more intense. Eddie felt the tear ducts at the corner of each eye begin to sting and overflow when he noticed Buck’s chest heaving as he drank in the scene. Of course it was not the time, but even Eddie found himself aroused by the actual artwork that was Thomas’s back muscles flexing beneath his tight top and the veins in his biceps bulging as he applied all of his strength to rip the nylon threads of each strap that confined the terrified toddler until he was yanking her out of the chair.</p><p>Like a phoenix from the ashes Thomas pushed past the windshield, anchored only by his grip wrapped up around the wrist in the line attached to the truck while he free-climbed back to the crowd with both little girls tucked preciously in the crook of the other limb. The cloud of dust behind him when the sand kicked up after the sport utility began to teeter as it slid again and the back-glow of the streetlights that had come on above them while dusk fell over the city made him appear almost ethereal as Thomas carried them to their sobbing and joyous parents with a hail of applause erupting around them.</p><p>Everyone on site was thrilled and in awe, but as they rounded up all their equipment and personnel to shuttle everything back to the station, Buck’s reaction was the only thing that Eddie could focus on. His dimples stood out when he beamed widely and Eddie could see the admiration practically oozing from him as he stood before Thomas who held each girl in both of his giant arms while Hen and Chimney made sure they were okay as a precaution. The parents thanked and thanked again this man who’d stolen the spotlight, and Eddie couldn’t even be mad about it because he’d just saved two innocent lives.  But it was hard not to take it too personally when Buck chose to sit beside his new best friend after they’d all piled back into the fire truck to head back to the house.</p><p> </p><p>“Great work out there, Broderick,” Bobby congratulated him when they arrived back at the station. “Your quick thinking saved those girls, made an impeccable impression on your first day, too.”</p><p>“Oh, it was absolutely nothing, Sir,” Thomas insisted. “I can’t tell you how many rescues I’ve performed under similar conditions- I think it’s just second nature at this point.”</p><p>“Are you kidding me? That was awesome! I’ve never seen anybody rip a car seat apart with their bare hands- do you know how strong those things gotta be to withstand a crash and keep the baby safe at the same time? You’ve got some guns, dude, and some serious skills,” Buck told him as he feasted on his physique with his imagination.</p><p>“Yeah, way to make your mark,” Hen echoed Buck’s sentiments. “That was pretty amazing.”</p><p>“But you said you’ve done a lot of rescues like that- can you tell us about another one?” Buck implored with doe eyes.</p><p>“Oh, I don’t think anybody else would be keen to hear me going on and on,” Thomas declined but Eddie couldn’t tell if he was being serious or coy. He didn’t really care, he couldn’t help but nod his agreement.</p><p>“I could listen to you talk all night,” Buck admitted dreamily.</p><p>“Honestly, I think we all could. Why don’t you let me buy you a drink after the shift is over?” Chimney fed into it.</p><p>“I would love it,” Thomas accepted as he kept his attention on Buck and the sparks between them made Eddie’s blood boil. “I can’t wait to get to know you all and hear some of your own tales, I’m sure they’ll give me a run for my money.”</p><p>“Heh, I don't think so. You’re the most interesting person here!” Buck argued without hesitation and Thomas actually blushed.</p><p>“That’s very kind of you to say,” he returned. “May I ask you something I’ve been eager to know about since we met earlier?” Thomas wondered.</p><p>“Me?” Buck gestured at himself as though he couldn’t believe what he could possibly have to say could be more captivating than anything GI Jackass had to offer.</p><p>“Nothing against your nickname, but does nobody call you Evan?”</p><p> </p><p>This time it was Buck’s turn to blush. He pulled the corner of his lower lip between his teeth and looked down at the ground as he shook his head and avoided Thomas’s line of sight. “Uhhh, nah. Just my parents…  But you can call me that if you want to. It sounds nice with your fancy accent,” Buck flirted back and Eddie had taken enough.</p><p>“Aaaand that’s a wrap,” Chimney said quickly as he excused himself from the conversation and Thomas and Buck each turned away, oblivious to the fact that everyone had been eavesdropping on their moment. They’d only seemed to notice when they’d become embarrassed about it.</p><p>“I’ll get back with you at clock out,” Chim called over his shoulder and everyone else seemed to scatter after him. Everyone but Eddie. He was too busy marinating in his bubbling psychosis to move.</p><p>“Care to join us later for a pint, mate?” Thomas said to Eddie after it had just been the three of them standing there.</p><p>Eddie hated to give him the satisfaction, but he already had an out. He needed to get Christopher from his Aunt Peppa’s and didn’t have time to pretend that he was even remotely curious about the most recent hire at the 118. “I have to get my son after work. Thank you, but I can’t,” he gritted as politely as he could and he tried not to acknowledge how bad it hurt when Buck didn’t seem to mind.</p><p>“Maybe you can come next time?” Buck said casually like an afterthought. Eddie could only nod before he sulked away with his tail between his legs.</p><p> </p><p>Never one to give into his feelings when they made him uncomfortable, Eddie grinned and bared it throughout every call they got that night where Thomas was allowed to be the hero and shine brighter than everyone else. He convinced himself that it was only because he’d all but shut down and was actually letting him play big-man-on-campus until it was time for him to punch out, and he headed home alone while basically the whole rest of his coworkers shuttled off to the same bar. He had no choice but to stay stewing in his anger as he tried not to think about the fact that Thomas was simply better than he was. He was a better firefighter than he was, he was bigger, he was braver, and now he was getting cozy with Buck while Eddie was watching Adventure Time reruns in his pajamas and there was nothing he could do to stop it.</p><p>It wasn’t as though he ever had any sort of claim on Buck, they had always been just friends. But he had become Christopher’s second father and a consistent presence at Diaz family dinners, holidays, and get-togethers. Eddie had always wanted more- he had always been in love with him. He just never knew how to say it with Catholic Guilt stealing his nerve. Now that there was somebody around who wasn’t shy about letting Buck know that he was attracted, Eddie tried to think about how he would possibly be able to live his life without ever getting the chance to tell him how he felt. Then there was the part about having to work with them both day after day with a broken heart. Eddie hugged Christopher a little tighter when he put him to bed and prayed for strength before he tucked himself in for a long sleepless night, dreading the morning the closer it crept.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Too Familiar</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“So are we just gonna be like this again? Where you don’t talk to me and I feel like shit about it because I did something to fuck it up, only this time I don’t know what I did?” Buck referenced the lawsuit that had been put so far in the past he didn’t even think about it anymore, but it had been a near identical situation they’d ended up in. Buck’s thoughtlessness had driven a wedge between them, and Eddie just had to be the one to deal with the consequences yet again.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you to everyone who's commented and had strong opinions, I live for it! I appreciate the love, and thank you for checking this out. Last chapter should be up in a few days ❤️</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been a rough night, to say the least. Eddie couldn’t ignore every rom-com get-together scenario his mind had been imagining since he’d gotten home from work the night before. He could just see Buck falling all over the 118’s most recent, handsome British hire and his huge, overdeveloped persona, and his perfect face and all of his fantastic stories. It was too much for him to even imagine and he found himself up on the couch watching tv until he fell asleep with the soft glow droning in the background. When he woke up to get Christopher ready for school, he’d hardly had the strength to throw himself into the shower. He opted to get to work early to try and psych himself up for his day, but he began to regret that decision as he sulked on the couch into the blackness in his coffee mug. It didn’t seem that anyone noticed him feeling sorry by himself when they’d walked up to the kitchen right after clock in.</p><p> </p><p>“I know, did you see how many drinks this guy scored when he did <i>Can You Feel The Love Tonight</i>? Come on,” Chimney griped as he entered the shared space. “Those girls at the table behind us were going crazy.”</p><p>“Hey, as long as he keeps passing ‘em my way, I ain’t gonna complain,” Martinez responded while his heavy footsteps scaled the last couple stairs up. “I mean, hello! That girl with the blue silk thing, with the nails and the hair- I got her number!”</p><p>“Oh, I knew you would- she was gross, Joe. Gross!” Hen exaggerated as Eddie heard her open the fridge.</p><p>“Yeah, she was, that’s why we got along!” Martinez joked and everyone laughed. “And since basically everyone in this house is taken, that means they’re all mine.”</p><p>“Happy to be your wingman any time,” Thomas said and Eddie felt his blood pressure spike. “But I do have a favor to ask you in return- well, all of you, I suppose,” Eddie heard the sounds of coffee being poured as they seemed to take seats at the bar stools around the counter top and he slumped lower against the cushions so as to remain unnoticed.</p><p>“Could you tell me more about Buck? Is he seeing anyone? I couldn’t really get a straight reply from him last night, but he’s absolutely breathtaking; I can’t stop thinking about him. Do you think he’d agree if I asked him to join me for dinner?” Thomas surveyed the audience, and Eddie decided that he actually hated this guy. He wasn’t sure if he couldn’t tell what a massive boner Buck had obviously had for him or if he was just playing dumb to seem charming.</p><p>“Hhhmm, lemme think,” Martinez said sarcastically.</p><p>“He’s pretty much terminally single. I’d definitely go for it if I were you- that’s a guaranteed good time,” Chim said, somewhat insensitively.</p><p>“Hey now, he’s grown up a lot since Abby,” Hen jumped in.</p><p>“Yeah, ask that little news broad, Taylor Kelly,” Martinez quipped.</p><p>“He dates women?” Eddie could hear the worry in his voice when Thomas questioned them about Buck’s sexuality and felt like he had to be pouring it on thick. No guy who wasn’t interested would’ve been letting him get so close and be so obnoxious.</p><p>“I mean, he doesn’t really date anyone… but he’ll pretty much <em>date anyone</em>-” Chimney started before Hen talked over him.</p><p>“He goes both ways,” Hen clarified with an exasperated sigh. “But his last couple relationships were with women, yes.”</p><p>“And, uh, what of Eddie?” Thomas asked hesitantly and Eddie’s heartbeat froze in its rhythm.</p><p>“That’s a guaranteed punch in the mouth,” Martinez snickered.</p><p>“He’s single but I don’t think he’s ever even seen a dick that wasn’t his own,” Chimney responded.</p><p>Thomas seemed amused when he spoke next. “Ahhh, well that’s good to know, and sort of answers my question. But, I meant what’s his status with Buck?”</p><p>“I’d be surprised he even remembers that guy exists after last night! I think you hooked him,” Martinez answered before Eddie could hear him take a sip from his cup and he’d been thankful he’d already set his own down onto the table in front of him.</p><p>“He had a little crush on him when Eddie first joined up, but he was married, he’s got a kid…” Chimney elaborated and Eddie had to keep himself from jumping up to come to his own defense. “That was never gonna happen,” he tacked on after a short silence. The sear of hot tears forming behind his eyeballs made Eddie feel like he had a splitting headache and the pang of reality through his chest seemed to tear him apart, but there was nothing he could do other than lay on the couch like a coward and hope that for mercy’s sake he would just disappear into it.</p><p>“Excellent,” Thomas breathed confidently and Eddie heard the fridge open up again before the chairs they’d been sitting in shuffled against the faux wood floor. “And he’s on today?”</p><p>“Should be here now,” Hen confirmed as the group moved to go back downstairs and moved passed Eddie’s hiding spot without sensing his presence like he’d planned.</p><p> </p><p>When Eddie finally found the gumption to get off the sofa and join everyone below, it was more than he could handle when he noticed Thomas leaning against the lockers while Buck sat on the bench lacing up his boots. He wore his uniform pants, but was still wearing a Dodgers t-shirt, so Eddie knew he was going to have to take it off to change into his issued top and he rolled his eyes as he turned away.</p><p>“You okay?” he heard from behind him as Hen came up and put her hand on his shoulder.</p><p>“Yup, I’m good,” Eddie said as he kept walking. Maybe the truck needed inventory or washing, or to run him over.</p><p>“Everyone missed you last night,” she told him, but he only rolled his eyes in return.</p><p>“Really,” he muttered bitterly.</p><p>“Eddie… I don’t want to overstep here- and you certainly don’t have to talk to me if you don’t want to- but if there’s something you wanna say to someone else, you should say it fast.”  Hen didn’t press the issue anymore and she didn’t continue after him to see if he’d have some smart ass reply, but she was right and he knew it.</p><p>Eddie just couldn’t swallow the difficult truth without it making him sick. He spent the rest of the morning doing grunt work and keeping busy until they got their first call.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright, Broderick, this one’s gonna be textbook, I hope you’re up for the challenge,” Bobby prepared him as they all headed to the scene, Eddie sitting across from Buck while Thomas occupied his usual spot next to him. It had been like that every call since the day before.</p><p>“Looking forward to it, Captain,” he grinned before he looked at Buck. “Add another one to the books,” he said into the microphone on his headset and Buck put his fist up so that Thomas could bump it. Eddie hated the way they looked at each other.</p><p>When they arrived at the address, a small crowd had gathered around a palm tree, Eddie guessed probably about 90-feet, and a little girl was sobbing at the bottom.</p><p>“What do we got here, Cap?” Chim asked as he stared up at the top.</p><p>“One of the most important rescues we’ll do today, guys,” Bobby said as he looked down at the girl on the sidewalk. “This little girl needs her best friend back.”</p><p> </p><p>As Eddie looked up toward the sun, he heard a fearsome meowing coming from the fronds. Kitten in a tree? That should’ve been laughably simple. Any one of them could’ve climbed up to get it, yet it was assumed absurd that anyone else but Thomas even be allowed to attempt the feat. Bobby started briefing him immediately on the assignment of literally scaling a ladder, and everybody stood around and watched like it was the most incredible thing they’d ever witnessed. The little girl waiting at the bottom was sitting on Buck’s bent knee as he consoled her and both surveyed with glittering eyes as Thomas reached into large palm leaves and pulled out a fairly small gray and white kitten, yowling furiously with tiny squeaks that didn’t seem like they could be so loud.</p><p>“I told you he’d get her,” Buck reassured the little girl as she wiped the tears from her cheeks.</p><p>When Thomas produced the kitten for her to take she jumped up excitedly and threw her arms around his neck, offering her praises before she grabbed her beloved feline from his hold. He furrowed his brows as he pursed his lips and it seemed like he might actually cry and Eddie couldn’t stop his face from conveying his thought. Bobby seemed to notice and he frowned in his direction, but Eddie didn’t much care if his Captain knew he despised his new lapdog. He was beginning to understand how Buck felt when he came into their house initially- but he didn’t think he’d been so insufferable as this douchebag was being. He’d maintained humility and was only being a jerk because Buck was. Of course this time around, Buck wasn’t being at all contrary with Thomas and that was the stem of the problem.</p><p> </p><p>Things remained quiet for the rest of the afternoon until it was nearing dinner time. Bobby proposed that Thomas help him whip something up in the kitchen, and Thomas asked Buck to join them. Bobby didn’t disapprove of the idea- he’d been teaching Buck to cook, too. But it seemed like Thomas was more interested in getting closer to him than he was interested in teaching Bobby anything useful. As Eddie stood by listening in from his normal spot on the sofa while most of the house gathered watching Monday Night Football, he determined that Thomas had chosen a remarkably simple dish that watered down to basically a tomato sauce with fried eggs on top. If he was trying to teach Bobby any gourmet techniques, that probably wasn’t the recipe to do it with.</p><p>“Of course, store bought will do for an amateur. But it just changes the entire flavor profile when you make the effort,” he explained pompously as he arranged red bell peppers on a foil sheet, “to roast your own.” He looked at Buck as he watched and Bobby actually seemed like he letting them be. He was leant up against the refrigerator behind the counter with his arms crossed, a fond smile on his face as he looked at the two of them.</p><p>“I find it’s best to take my time. Appreciate every ingredient; savor each for its uniqueness. Really make love to every component. It makes every dish taste that much better,” Thomas told him as he put his hand to the small of Buck’s back and ushered him in front of him so that he was standing before the skillet on the stove instead.</p><p>“I trust you know how to caramelize onions?” he asked, and each of them laughed. Buck leant into him and Thomas put both hands on his shoulders, giving him a squeeze until he started rubbing small circles into his muscles.</p><p>“Ah, yeah, that is something I know how to do,” Buck answered as Thomas backed the fuck off finally. Eddie wondered if he couldn’t feel the shade from across the dining area.</p><p>“You certainly do,” Thomas told him as he looked at his backside while Buck stirred the raw onions into bubbling brown butter, not even caring that Bobby was standing behind him seeing it. “You’re a natural, Evan.”</p><p>As it got nearer for time to eat, the other firefighters began to make their way to the kitchen to grab their places at the table while Bobby started bringing food items out one by one. Eddie remained fussed on the couch alone using the game in its fourth quarter as his excuse to stay seated.</p><p>“Any protein pairs well with this particular fare, but my favorite is a nice, aged beef fillet-” Thomas commented in his arrogant way until the bell rang into the building to silence him like a gift from above. Eddie had never been so grateful to hear that somebody needed their help. He didn’t know how much more of it he would be able to endure before he finally snapped. Especially the more Buck ate it up.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But Eddie’s patience was due for a brutal test. Things went on like that for the next two weeks with Thomas taking up all the breath in the room and showing off constantly to stay in Buck’s favor. At the start of the second week, Thomas had started bringing him some ultra superior French pressed posh coffee from his own personal stash in a special thermos <em>every morning </em>because he mentioned one time that he’d never tried that type before. Thomas had become Buck’s spot when they worked out at the gym (which they always seemed to do) and Eddie had even observed him letting Buck win when they battled each other on the Playstation in their free time. He’d been opening doors for him, pulling out chairs, and every opportunity he would get he would put his hand at the bottom of Buck’s spine where his waist met his ass as he walked near him. But the worst thing was when they’d started another 24-hour shift after having a few days off, and Eddie had learned that Buck had been over to Thomas’s house during their break.</p><p>He didn’t mean to be eavesdropping <em>again</em>, but he’d literally not spoken more than a couple of words to Buck the entire time Thomas had been around. Truly, he just needed to check in. Even at the risk of having to hear all about Mr. Royal Marine, Eddie just wanted to talk to his friend. He’d seen on the schedule that it was Buck’s turn to do the laundry, so he went to find him there. He didn’t expect to hear Hen’s voice as he approached the threshold.</p><p> </p><p>“Sooo, what’s his place like? Is it dripping in golden sophistication and filled with spoils from all of his travels?” she asked Buck.</p><p>“Does he have a tiger in a cage in his living room? ‘Cause that seems like something he would have,” Chimney teased.</p><p>Buck laughed. “No. Maybe some spoils, though. He literally has traveled, like, everywhere. He had all this wine because he was in Napa learning wines, or whatever, before he came here. I don’t really get it, and it tasted pretty disgusting, actually. But-”</p><p>“Wait, he gave you wine?” Hen interrupted him.</p><p>“Yeah, so?”</p><p>“Wine! It was a date!” Chimney exclaimed.</p><p>“What? No it wasn’t!” Buck argued. “He just got to make his own wine and he wanted me to taste it.”</p><p>“Uh huh. I just got some new bed sheets, wanna help me test ‘em out?” Chimney remarked.</p><p>“Nothing happened!” Buck said immediately. “It was just a bottle of wine.”</p><p>“The whole bottle? Come on, Buckaroo, you have been eye-fucking this guy since he got here. You’re telling me you didn’t actually do it when you had the chance?” Hen said skeptically.</p><p>“He is pretty hot,” Buck said after a short wait and Eddie could tell he was smiling.</p><p>“And he obviously really likes you,” Chimney included in a melody, but before Eddie could hear the rest, he spared himself and walked away upset.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie knew it would be difficult. It <em>had been</em> difficult. But nothing could top it when they were on the way back from their most recent dispatch and Thomas actually asked him out. They were just about to be back at the station- Eddie couldn’t comprehend the reason he chose to do it over the headsets where everyone in the truck could hear. But as they rounded the corner onto the street that would bring them back to their destination, he decided to take his shot.</p><p>“That was brilliant, Evan,” Thomas said, using his given name to comment on the fact that he’d actually let someone else handle a call for once by stepping aside so that Buck could recover a father and his teenage son from a submerged vehicle in a rushing canal after the father had suffered a heart attack. Eddie wasn’t sure if he was definitively trying to be condescending or if he just wanted to see Buck’s uniform get wet. “Like a real member of the 42,” he used the ridiculous reference to shout out his former Royal Marines unit while he sucked up.</p><p>Eddie scoffed under his breath as he recalled how Buck had survived the full impact of a tsunami at its inception before he saved numerous people only weeks after having his leg crushed and undergoing major surgery. Only that time he did it all without any equipment, assistance, or encouragement from an over-zealous windbag.</p><p>“It was probably nothing compared to the stuff you’ve seen,” Buck shrugged.</p><p>“How’d you like to escort me for dinner on Thursday night? We can swap stories some more. I’m sure you’ve seen a lot more than you think,” Thomas surmised as they pulled into the station.</p><p>“Uhh, you mean like a date?” Buck asked for clarification as he caught eyes with Martinez who stifled his giggles immediately.</p><p>“Well, I suppose… yes, I suppose so,” Thomas stuttered comically, as though he were seriously trying to be all befuddled and aloof because Hugh Grant and Colin Firth told him he had to be to fit the part. Eddie was beginning to think his entire personality was a gag- nobody could be so fucking clueless.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie barely even waited until the truck was completely stopped to swing the door open and jump out so that he wouldn’t have to hear the decision. His knees felt like jelly as he walked past the main garage to prepare to pick his room for the evening so that he could wallow in it until they got another call. He stayed there for hours until it was nearing midnight. Thankfully, the night had been easy. There had only been that one canal emergency toward the start of shift that had gone without a hitch, so Eddie felt he’d brave a hot shower so that he could try and get some sleep.  He was so involved with his own head on his way into the shared men’s bathroom he nearly jumped out of his skin when he collided with another person as he rounded the corner.</p><p>Their noses brushed, their chests bumped, and he could feel his breath as he scrambled backward to see that it was Buck standing before him. He felt his eyes widen as he struggled to find anything at all to say.</p><p>“Hey,” Buck beat him to it. “How’ve you been?”</p><p>He had been so thrilled that Buck had even acknowledged him, but the concern didn't feel good enough. “I’m great,” Eddie muttered as soon as he remembered what a asshole he was supposed to be because he'd been mad.</p><p>“H-How’s Chris?” he tried again as he went back into the bathroom, following Eddie instead of going wherever it was that he was headed.</p><p>“He’s great, too,” Eddie said colorlessly.</p><p>“So are we just gonna be like this again? Where you don’t talk to me and I feel like shit about it because I did something to fuck it up, only this time I don’t know what I did?” Buck referenced the lawsuit that had been put so far in the past he didn’t even think about it anymore, but it had been a near identical situation they’d ended up in. Buck’s thoughtlessness had driven a wedge between them, and Eddie just had to be the one to deal with the consequences yet again.</p><p>“Is it Thomas? I know he’s kind of a lot sometimes. But he’s actually really cool, Eddie. If you got to know him-” Buck began to say, but Eddie wasn’t interested.</p><p>“I know him, okay? I know all about his French cooking lessons, and his Superman war rescues, and how jacked he is because he fucking took karate lessons from Chuck Norris or whatever other badass reason he’s got. I know that everyone’s in love with him around here for some reason and we’re all just letting him steal the spotlight when we’re out in the field because he makes it impossible to go about it any other way. I know that he’s too full of himself to care. He fucking loves it, and it’s annoying. I don’t need to know any more to know that I don’t like him.” Eddie put as much distance between himself and Buck as he could while he stood at the sink furthest from the entrance and turned the tap on so that he could splash the cold over his face and possibly help himself chill out.</p><p>He’d not wanted to explode that way, but once Eddie had been given the chance to tell Buck what he thought, he just sort of lost it. Buck didn’t say anything. He only stood at the opposite end of the row, looking down at the tile beneath his feet.</p><p> </p><p>“You haven’t even tried,” Buck murmured, sounding somewhat dejected.</p><p>“Why should I? He’s a jerk,” Eddie protested.</p><p>“He’s just trying to fit in here, why can’t you understand that? You were in that position not too long ago,” Buck reminded him.</p><p>“And you were in mine,” Eddie rebutted.</p><p>“Eddie,” Buck warned, losing his patience for a rare instance.</p><p>“Why are you trying to make me kiss this guy’s ass when I don’t want to? I don’t like him; I don’t wanna hang out with him- Why can’t you respect that? I thought we were friends, Buck!” Eddie practically screamed at him.</p><p>“We <em>are </em>friends, Eddie! But why does that mean I can’t have any other friends?!” Buck challenged him as he put his hand on his hip.</p><p> </p><p>The second the word “friends” escaped Buck’s lips it sounded like a dirty one. Eddie hadn’t ever felt so low.  “That’s not what he wants from you, Buck, it just hasn’t hit you yet,” Eddie sighed with hurt feelings, staying honest but adding some salt on top.</p><p>“Okay, so are you suggesting that I’m an idiot for thinking that he actually likes me or that he’s only hanging out with me because he wants to fuck?” Buck asked him, his eyes narrowing while they puddled with tears.</p><p>“Neither of those things has anything to do with me. I don’t want anything to do with either of them,” Eddie snapped before he turned around to choose one of the stalls.</p><p>“What does that mean?” Buck asked softly as he took a few steps closer, but kept the space open.</p><p>“That means I don’t wanna hear about him anymore, and it looks like he’s gonna be all you’ve got to talk about for the foreseeable future. I guess I’m suggesting that maybe we shouldn’t talk for a while,” Eddie told him with finality as he drew the curtain back and stepped inside so that he could end the discussion and get his point across effectively.</p><p>As he stood in the tile cubicle where he should’ve been getting undressed to start the water, he listened for movement from outside for minutes that seemed to drag. Eddie could feel the despondence coming from the other side of the vinyl he hid behind and he started to agonize over being too direct. He hadn’t meant to be so cruel, but he couldn’t pretend like he was interested in the one topic that Buck couldn’t seem to get enough of lately.</p><p>When Buck’s footsteps started to echo out the door without another word from him, Eddie disrobed in shame and left his clothes on the hook just outside so that he could hang his head to cry beneath the water that rained down onto him to mask his cries.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Burning Bridges</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>He’d known about himself for a long time. But he’d not wanted to admit it until Buck was in his life, holding his happiness at his disposal and just out of reach by Eddie’s own design. Chris loved him and had come to expect his presence, his sisters thought he was adorable, Peppa and Abuela seemed to approve of the quality of person that he was, and even if Shannon hadn’t passed, she’d confirmed that they weren’t meant to be together when she asked him for a divorce. Buck seemed to be Eddie’s soul mate in every way except that he was born the same gender.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>THANK YOU SO MUCH for everyone who has been waiting on this and enjoying it! I really hope you guys like the last chapter. It took me so long because my job and then Halloween and wasted and all that good stuff, so if you're still hanging out, ILY boo. A little bit of angst in this LONG chapter, but it does end happily!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Are you sure you wanna do that?” Carla asked as she dried while Eddie washed.</p><p>“Yeah, I’m sure. I’m actually gonna kill this guy if I have to hear one more thing out of his mouth,” Eddie said as he scrubbed at some stuck on cheese from the enchiladas they’d had for dinner, perhaps using more force than was necessary as he imagined sanding Thomas’s smug face right off his head.</p><p>“Anyone joining you on your little mutiny?” Carla questioned, more than likely talking about Buck without saying his name. Carla didn’t known about the fight they’d had a week before. He hadn’t told anyone, and he wasn’t sure if Buck had either. But the rest of the house seemed none the wiser- things had just been operating as normal with Eddie on the sidelines and Buck in the front row at the Thomas Show.</p><p>“Nah… I stand alone on this,” Eddie replied dramatically as he handed the casserole dish off and started on a saucepan.</p><p>“You sound pretty certain,” Carla pointed out.</p><p>“I mean, I don’t even know why everyone is so crazy over him- he’s really not that great. I think he’s faking that ridiculous accent. It sounds like the Queen of England, all lilting and over-indulgent,” Eddie griped childishly and Carla raised her eyebrows as if she knew he wanted to say more. Truthfully, it would’ve been nice to be able to tell somebody and get some advice for his pretty in-depth problem. He wouldn’t get the chance when Christopher interrupted them to ask for his dessert.</p><p> </p><p>When Eddie went in for work the next morning, he decided to go through with his plan. He determined that enough time had been served under his and Buck’s new silent rule that it wouldn’t be terribly obvious why he was desperate to change his routine. He’d formulated a cover story, of course. But that didn’t mean that it would be at all convincing if everyone thought he was mad about Buck and his new pal. He immediately went up to talk to Bobby and tried to make it quick.</p><p>“Yeah, it was really sudden. It was the same hip as the last time, too, so, you know, it kind of just made it that much worse. The doctors think she’ll recover fine, but she needs physical therapy obviously, and the only days the caretaker has available are my off days. We’ve been trying to get another lined up, but you know how that red tape can be. It’s been taking a while, and she can’t wait if she wants to ever walk again,” Eddie presented in his best nieto triste impression.  </p><p>“It would only be temporary, then?” Bobby impressed more than asked.</p><p>“Yeah, until she recovers,” he said, dropping the S in his mind as he blatantly deceived his boss.</p><p>“Alright. Well, we’re happy to help in any way. Take as much time as you need, just let me know when you can resume your regular shift. We’re gonna miss you around here until you’re ready to be back,” Bobby smiled as he stood up and raked Eddie into a warm hug that felt like more than a consolation for an injured grandmother. But it was better than he wanted it to be. He didn’t feel like being comforted by his Captain. He felt like throwing himself off a cliff.</p><p>“Thanks, Bobby. Have a good one,” Eddie wished with pale enthusiasm.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie trooped down the staircase and shuffled across the truck bay with his spirit in the trash and his head to the ground until he heard somebody coming his way. He’d prayed he wouldn’t see anyone on his way in- he’d come to work early for that reason. But he should’ve known that Thomas would also be coming in early so that he could stalk the locker room to watch Buck change his clothes.</p><p>“Heh, I thought you might change shifts,” Thomas said coldly, for the first time sounding less than regal. “That is what you’re doing, isn’t it?”</p><p>Eddie couldn’t find his voice. He was too focused on swallowing the pure fury that was fiending to burst through his knuckles and into Prince Charming’s face.  “Yeah, because my Abuela reinjured her broken hip.” Eddie began to walk away, leaving his lie to set in place as he muttered, “Asshole.”</p><p>“I’m sorry to hear of it. I’m sure we’ll all struggle to manage without you,” Thomas jeered at his back.</p><p>He took a deep breath and primed himself to be cordial at the same time his self control ordered itself out of commission when he whipped around. “Look, you’ve made yourself very clear. You’ve been trying to phase me out since you got here, I get it. I’m not gonna do this with you. Just treat him nice, okay? Don’t hurt him. Don’t use him.”</p><p>Thomas grinned as he stepped forward, getting closer than Eddie would’ve liked. “Oh, you needn’t worry about that. I value him, Eddie; the way a man is supposed to value the one that he cares for. I have no motivations to play him in any way. He’s precious to me, and I fully intend to love him harder every day we’re together,” he promised with a malicious smirk. “He would know that I would never just give up on him.” He advanced a couple of paces further until he was definitely crossing the boundary of personal space, as if he were daring Eddie to hit him because he knew that he was itching to. “No matter what,” he concluded in a whisper so ripe with mockery that Eddie felt his knuckles tighten.</p><p>There didn’t seem to be enough discipline in the universe, but somehow Eddie kept himself from totally unleashing on a guy who, on any other occasion, probably could’ve ground him to a fine powder. It didn’t mean that he would have the strength to utter any debate. </p><p>“I hope that’s true,” Eddie conceded. “He deserves that.”</p><p>“He deserves <em>me. </em>I’m glad you feel the same. Thank you for your friendly blessing, Diaz. Have a pleasant day,” Thomas bid him farewell as he began to tread backwards until he finally twirled himself around and began whistling in celebration.</p><p> </p><p>Thomas hadn’t been around nearly as long as Eddie had, but by all accounts, it seemed that he wasn’t too far off. Buck had obviously accepted his bid for a date, and they’d been getting closer the more they’d worked together. As it had been learned, Buck even visited his place already. Things had moved relatively fast between them, as well- Eddie didn’t find it very hard to believe that the chemistry between the freshly acquainted would’ve ignited like wildfire, rapid and out of control. He couldn’t tell how much of what he’d said had been the truth, and how much had been sharpened to carve his heart out. But either way, Eddie had been most appreciative that Carla thought he had the next 24 hours off.</p><p>It hadn’t been on his agenda to spend his unplanned day off getting drunk in some bar until the night when he’d transition into kicking the absolute shit out of strangers amongst literal garbage at the junkyard. But as Eddie cleaned his wounds beneath the rainfall stream coming from his shower, his thoughts scolded him because he promised himself he’d never do that again. He felt disappointed that he’d let someone get to him so badly. Then there was the blistering and stark awakening that everything said had been absolutely correct. Buck did deserve someone like Thomas who was willing to fight for him and profess his love unashamedly from the rooftops. Eddie had given up on Buck merely because it was easier to run than stay and face the truth.</p><p>He’d known about himself for a long time. But he’d not wanted to admit it until Buck was in his life, holding his happiness at his disposal and just out of reach by Eddie’s own design. Chris loved him and had come to expect his presence, his sisters thought he was adorable, Peppa and Abuela seemed to approve of the quality of person that he was, and even if Shannon hadn’t passed, she’d confirmed that they weren’t meant to be together when she asked him for a divorce. Buck seemed to be Eddie’s soul mate in every way except that he was born the same gender. Eddie hated that it made him ashamed and embarrassed for wanting to do all those PDA things that Thomas seemed to be able to do so readily. Now he’d lost his chance simply because he’d not found enough courage in himself to make the life he wanted a reality.</p><p>Changing his shift didn’t change his feelings. Eddie still saw himself as a failure, and half a man. He couldn’t ignore the Buckley name all over the firehouse, and there’d been a few of his personal affects scattered here or there, like every one of them had lying around. But it was harder to even see an object that belonged to him than Eddie thought it might be. He could do nothing but speculate on how happy Buck had been without him. He stalked his social media for any clues about his new relationship but grew bitter when there were very few updates for him to feast on. The silence made Eddie think that he was probably in too much of a sex-hazed coma to operate his phone at any given moment, and it sent his mind off in a million different directions. When he would text with Hen or Chim, it was always straight to the point and artificial. He didn’t ask about Buck, and they didn’t offer him anything that may cause him harm.</p><p> </p><p>He knew he would be upset about it, but Eddie didn’t expect that he would isolate himself from his new coworkers and mourn his loss between calls day in and day out. He’d not put forth any effort when rolling out of bed each morning, and even Carla noticed that he wasn’t himself when she would see him to collect or return Christopher. As days apart turned to weeks, Eddie had started living his life on autopilot so brazenly that his son had begun to notice.</p><p>“Dad, when are we going to go out again? You’re boring now,” Chris decided one evening while he sat beside his father after he’d chosen Moana as their “Friday” night movie to start Eddie’s long weekend.</p><p>“Uhh, I guess we can go out tomorrow, if you want?” Eddie suggested, taking his eyes off the screen for a moment to look down at his boy. “What do you wanna go do?”</p><p>“Something with Buck,” Chris whined as he tugged at Eddie’s thermal top while he gripped him tightly. “He never comes over anymore. I miss him.”</p><p>Eddie tried to pass the lump through his throat as he decided to be half honest with the one person he knew wouldn’t judge him for it. “I miss him, too, Chris, but… he’s been kind of busy lately, so I don’t know if he’ll be able to, okay?” he told him, feeling more spineless that he couldn’t even say Buck’s name while he lied to his child.</p><p>“He said he would never disappear on me again,” Christopher repeated Buck’s words back to his father. “Just tell him to come and he will,” Chris reasoned.</p><p>“We’ll see, bud, okay?” Eddie patted Chris on the shoulder as he steered his attention back to the film. “You want some popcorn?” he asked as he jetted to the kitchen so that Chris wouldn’t have to see his father crumble, but the clever kid had gone through this before and he seemed to remember it vividly. Chris gave him the silent treatment up until he’d closed his eyes to go to sleep.</p><p> </p><p>It had been a rough couple of days off with Christopher keeping his dad on a strict probation of only necessary communication and half-hearted hugs. Eddie felt bad enough as it was being separated from one member of his family; he didn’t need the remaining man in his life to decide he wasn’t worth the time. He was only grateful that his son couldn’t go out and find another father as easily as Buck had secured a replacement for the position Eddie held in his life.  He had never been so grateful to get to work. He hoped the time apart would give Christopher the space he needed to cool down. He would possibly be able to forget that he ever missed his newly adopted parent, and forgive his biological one for keeping them apart. But he wouldn’t get the time to dwell on it when he overheard some of his coworkers chatting around the coffee pot when he went up to grab some and try to stay alert.</p><p>“It was pretty bad, they weren’t able to save the other three,” Carter said mid-conversation as she poured herself a cup.</p><p>“But he’s gonna be okay?” Lopez asked while he smeared peanut butter onto a piece of toast.</p><p>“He’s been in the hospital for a few days. I guess he developed some kind of infection or something? But they said he’ll be fine. I swear, from everything I’ve heard, that kid has nine lives,” Carter mused as she stirred some sugar into her plain black caffeine.</p><p>“Is he gonna sue the hospital this time instead of the department? Please tell me we’re not gonna go through that again,” Greenberg groaned.</p><p>Eddie almost collapsed to the ground as he waited his turn. There could be no other person they’d be talking about if they were mentioning that hideous lawsuit. He probably could’ve asked them right then and there for the details, but he felt it an occasion to breach his own implemented workplace regulations and go straight for the source.</p><p> </p><p>Frantically, Eddie tapped out a text message to Buck’s phone as he sprinted down the stairway and made for his locker so that he could get his keys. After several speechless moments he chanced a call.</p><p>When he got no reply after several babbling and urgent correspondence, he tried another of his former contacts.</p><p>“What’s going on, Hen, tell me,” Eddie blurted out as soon as she pressed accept on the call.</p><p>“Whoa, hey, calm down,” she shushed him immediately. “I’ll tell you. But I need to tell you this first: he didn’t want you to know about this, Eddie,” Hen divulged.</p><p>“Know what, what happened?” Eddie kept a stoic face as he sat in nervous anguish, trying to decide how much trouble he’d be in if he were to just leave without telling anyone. As Hen gave him a brief rundown, Eddie figured he would take his punishment after the fact and he raced from the building and straight to the hospital that she had mentioned.</p><p> </p><p>The brightness of the fluorescent lights and the smell of ammonia and death in the air had always given Eddie an unsettled feeling. But as he walked the halls to find the room Hen had given him, a sense of calm replaced the dread when he’d gotten to number 1222 and he saw Maddie sitting inside, leaning on her knuckles as she teetered on the brink of sleep. The fuzzy tingles didn’t last as long as he would’ve liked. He didn’t expect that she would don the meanest expression he’d ever seen her make as she pushed him the few steps he’d taken back out of the room.</p><p>“You weren’t supposed to come,” she told him point blank as she shoved him out of earshot of the door. For such a small woman, Maddie had the strength of a mama bear protecting her cub.</p><p>“Hen told me what happened-” Eddie began before Maddie raised her hand to shut him down.</p><p>“Buck told <em>me </em>what happened- with the two of you? I can’t believe you would even show up here after the way you treated him. He doesn’t want to see you,” Maddie said while she crossed her arms. Eddie hadn’t known exactly what was said, but it was visibly enough that Maddie was no longer on his side.</p><p>“I didn’t do anything! I just didn’t want to-”</p><p>“That’s right! You didn’t do <em>anything</em>! You just walked away from him,” Maddie reminded Eddie with tears beading in the corner of each eye.</p><p>Eddie winced when he absorbed the angry truth and hung his head in shame. She wasn’t wrong, but he didn’t know if she knew the reasons behind his actions.</p><p>“It’s not like I was leaving him alone,” Eddie spat while he started his passive aggressive explanation.</p><p>“You weren’t?” Maddie challenged.</p><p>“I seem to remember him making his own choice to hang out with Mr. Buckingham Palace all the time instead of me,” Eddie argued.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, okay,” Maddie said as she nodded with sarcasm. “So he’s just supposed to ignore any and all attention that he might get from somebody else who actually wants to pursue him and suffer in loneliness because you can’t handle that? Do you know how many times he’s been pushed aside? Every relationship he’s ever had. Every friend he’s ever made- I’ve done it, too! More than once. He had trouble learning as a kid so my parents sent him to tutors and specialists and after school programs; anything to take the heat off of them. When he started acting out as a teenager they put him into therapy until they eventually sent him away to some secluded boarding school so they wouldn’t have to deal with him. When he dropped out of college and begged them to let him come home, they sent him to join up with the SEALs instead. He’s never had a family, Eddie. Not until he found one with you. But you couldn’t let him have it,” Maddie practically growled.</p><p>“He didn’t want it! He was too involved with someone else!” Eddie tried to insist, knowing full well that wasn’t the reason they’d never materialized into anything more.</p><p>“You really think that?” Maddie asked smugly. “You lead him on. You let him become a part of your world knowing that it was always gonna stay like that, didn’t you? Nice and safe and friendly. It was fine for you to lean on him and rely on him and treat him like a partner just as long as you didn’t have to commit to that title. Didn’t matter if everyone already thought he was, right? I’m glad you finally broke it off. You don’t have to worry about him gaying up your image, and he doesn’t have to worry about you being such a huge cockblock. Now why don’t you just go,” Maddie ordered with a wave of her hand toward the hallway he’d come down to get there.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s not what I was doing,” Eddie said in a weak excuse as she started to go back into Buck’s room. It almost scared him when she turned back around. Her features hadn’t lightened up at all, and she only seemed more upset as she breathed heavily.</p><p>“Then what were you doing?” Maddie stood with blank eyes, awaiting Eddie’s reply as he tried to come up with one that fully grasped the situation. “Because whether it was or it wasn’t, that’s what it feels like to Buck.” Eddie couldn’t get a word in before she dismissed him again and closed the door behind her.</p><p>He started to leave but he didn’t want her to be right anymore. He didn’t want Thomas to be right. Instead Eddie sat himself down and composed a short message to his new Captain explaining that he would need the next few days off. He waited outside of Buck’s room until the sky had faded to a dull purple and then into a blackest night. The wing he’d been sat in the middle of for the past ten hours had started to go quiet and there was nobody around but a nurse behind the desk who occasionally stared at him with pity and asked if he needed a glass of water. He’d not realized that he’d dozed off until somebody tapped him on the shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, sleepyhead,” Hen said quietly as she sat down in the chair beside him. “Chim got Maddie to go down for something to eat. I’m supposed to be standing guard… Has she let you in to see him yet?” she asked, assuring him that everyone else seemed to already be aware of how unwanted he’d become.</p><p>“No,” Eddie sighed. “But can I ask you something without you making fun of me?”</p><p>Hen laughed and sat up straight in her chair while she tried to gather herself to listen. “I can’t promise anything because I think I already know what you’re gonna say.”</p><p>“Did everyone already know about…?” Eddie felt dumb when he couldn’t articulate his thought and he puzzled over what seemed elementary to all others concerned. Hen couldn’t stop herself from cracking up.</p><p>Hen put her hand on Eddie’s thigh before she situated herself close as she could. “Everyone but you, Eddie,” she informed him bluntly. “You know, we all considered you two a couple, anyways. Nobody would’ve batted an eye if you’d actually gone for it.”</p><p>His cheeks seemed hotter than LA’s worst day as Eddie threw himself back against his chair in a subdued tantrum. “And now I probably lost him for good.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, I didn’t wanna tell you this over the phone, but for a moment you did, Eddie. He stopped breathing for just over ten minutes- we were all kind of freaked out when we got him back. Even more freaked out when the doctors said it seems like there’s no long-term damage. This is the third time in a year he’s almost checked out- if you love him as much as it seemed like you do, you better tell him how you feel. Don’t keep messing around. None of us know how long we’ve got left, but Buck really tests that limit. You don’t want to have to look back on all those beautiful memories you have with him and feel nothing but regret,” Hen advised as Eddie tried to catch his breath.</p><p>She had told him that Buck was injured in a mall fire after he’d gone back in to look for survivors at a collapsing department store, rich with vinyl, plastic, silk, and wool. Cyanide and Carbon Monoxide had been leaking into the atmosphere and of course, Buck had given his mask to one of those he’d rescued as they escaped the crumbling structure. She said that he had taken some smoke damage and contracted a slight case of pneumonia because of it, but Hen didn’t elaborate on how bad it had been when Eddie had called her earlier.</p><p>“How long did you have to work to revive him?” Eddie wondered with worry apparent on his tongue.</p><p>“I didn’t,” Hen answered. “Thomas did- almost the whole time. You know how Thomas watches him like a hawk- he didn’t get anymore movement on his GPS when he was supposed to be on his way out so he went in right away to find him since the store was falling down. He carried him out over his shoulder then he brought him back right there on the sidewalk- like some kind of obsessive, creepy superhero.” Eddie found it hard to resist cracking a smile.  Hen did, too, and Eddie wondered if maybe Thomas had begun to overstay his welcome with everyone else at the 118.</p><p> </p><p>Just like when Thomas had saved those twin girls from their parents’ sinking vehicle, Eddie couldn’t be upset at his heroics. He’d used them this most recent occasion to preserve the love of his life. But how could Eddie possibly compete with that? A literal knight in shining armor just seemed to be another box checked on the list of perfect traits Thomas possessed.</p><p>Hen started to chuckle under her breath as she made herself comfortable in her seat and Eddie felt like she must’ve noticed how agitated he’d become. “Yeah, I know, I need to work on my subtlety,” Eddie said, trying to take his shortcomings in stride.</p><p>“Oh, I’m not laughing at you. He would probably kill me for letting you know about this, Eddie… But I feel like you need to hear it. When Thomas got him back he was holding Buck in his arms, gently sweeping his tussled curls from his forehead just like a scene out of a movie-” Hen cut herself off in amusement, but Eddie wasn’t finding the humor in her statement.</p><p>“Buck looks up at him, he reaches for him with all the strength he’s got and he takes his face-” Hen lost control again before she could get to the punchline but Eddie was still failing to see why his friend felt it necessary that he know these details. “I thought Thomas was gonna drop him when Buck realized that he wasn’t you. He started pushing him away real fast. You two do kind of look similar- dark eyes, dark hair, dimples when you smile-” Hen couldn’t calm herself as she recalled the scenario.</p><p> </p><p>“He asked for me?” Eddie implored.</p><p>“He did,” Hen nodded. “But he’s cried over you, too. You’re hanging out with him for days on end cooking together, you’re cleaning up the house together, you’re taking care of Christopher together- Buck’s one of his emergency contacts, Eddie. He knows your Netflix password, he’s gone grocery shopping for <em>your </em>fridge. He doesn’t understand why he gets to be so close but you won’t let him all the way in. He doesn’t understand why he’s good enough to be there, but not good enough to be yours.” Eddie was speechless. When all points of their friendship had been listed out like that, it seemed so plain that they’d always ‘been together’. He’d just been too foolish to embrace it, and so stubborn that he’d broken Buck’s heart without noticing.</p><p>“I know that it can be a scary thought when you try to imagine what your family and friends might say. But look at it this way; any love that any of us has lost for being who we are, we find in the ones that we choose to share our lives with. I don’t know if you know this but that boy has been aching to love you for <em>years </em>now, Eddie.  If you want it, don’t let that go to waste because of your fear of the unknown.”</p><p>Standing with help of the nudge from Hen, Eddie made his way to the threshold at room 1222. His knuckles curled as he hovered just above the knob on the door that had been pushed ajar since he’d last looked its way. Eddie could hear the beeping of the heart monitor inside the room and he gave one final glace in Hen’s direction before he collected his courage and stepped inside.</p><p> </p><p>Though his face had been ashen from smoke and his hair was a bit matted from days untouched, Eddie felt such relief when he saw Buck lying there with his eyelashes dusted over his cheeks while he slept. He wore an oxygen mask and had IVs in his arm, but Eddie didn’t see any casts or splints or wraps anywhere else. He’d wanted so badly to touch him, but he felt like he’d not earned the privilege. He settled for gripping the railing of the bed so tight that Buck noticed the pressure.</p><p>Unsure of what reaction he was expecting, Eddie had trouble ignoring how badly it hurt when Buck rolled his eyes and turned away. His line-less arm rose to pull the mask off his face and before he even spoke Eddie could feel the shade.</p><p>“What are you doing here,” he said coldly with a hoarse voice that made Eddie want to console him.</p><p>“I’m an idiot. And I wanted to tell you in person.” Eddie pulled a seat up to the side of the bed and washed both hands over his face before he took a deep breath. “Buck, I didn’t mean to hurt you-”</p><p>“Then why did you? ” Buck asked over him.</p><p>“I was stupid. I made a stupid mistake because I didn’t know what I wanted before. But I know now.”</p><p> </p><p>“Then enlighten <em>me</em>, please. What is it that you want from me, Eddie? You ask me to hang out all the time, we have this great chemistry, and you’re always wanting my advice and my opinion and borrowing my fucking clothes. You got distant and petty when I tried to date other people but then you started sleeping with your wife again and you acted like it’s just totally fine because she’s your wife who you haven’t seen in two years. Then you’re mad at me for the actions of some random stranger and you don’t even give me the benefit of the doubt when you’re supposed to be my best friend. You think I’m just gonna jump right into bed with this new guy because that’s automatically what I do, right? You like being with me, but you don’t want to be with me, but nobody else can be with me, and I’m just supposed to sit here while you make up your mind.” Eddie had to hold back when he wanted to reach for him as he started to cough somewhat violently. There was little he could do but sit there and fuss as Buck put his hand atop his chest and rubbed in slow circles as he kept his eyes to his lap.</p><p>“Even if you don’t love me the same, I thought at least you respected me as person.” Eddie could feel that Buck would’ve rather been anywhere else at that moment. He fidgeted and kept himself focused on his breath and trying not to cough anymore than he already was. His eyes had reddened with the coming flood but he did everything he could to keep himself together. Eddie knew that Buck sometimes had a rough time standing up for himself, and often felt guilty for speaking his mind when it meant that somebody else might not like what he had to say. But he didn’t want him to feel like he had to hide his emotions anymore.</p><p>“I do respect you- I don’t even know how to explain how I feel about you, Buck. I know it doesn’t seem like it because I treated you horribly and said some pretty terrible things. But I was only acting so fucking stupid because I was… Well, I was really ashamed of myself and worried what other people might think. That morphed into some weird kind of jealous rage that I decided to take out on you. I just hated seeing Thomas all over you, with his grabby fingers and his fucking James Bond shit, it made me crazy! I was mad that he’s better than me, I was mad that he was winning you over- I was mad that I let my chance go just because I was afraid to take it. I had no right to be upset that somebody else is into you, and I didn’t know how to tell you that I was losing my mind, so I just went full asshole,” Eddie admitted bashfully.</p><p>“Uh, yeah,” Buck agreed with just a hint of his usual jest and Eddie felt it warm him considerably. He’d not expected him to show any signs of forgiveness so quickly after the way he’d behaved.</p><p> </p><p>“Hen told me about… You were basically dead and I had no idea. You’ve been in here for days and I didn’t even know about it. I don’t want a life without you, Buck. I love you, and I had to tell you that before it’s too late. Even if it already is,” Eddie hummed, trying not to sound so pathetic because he wasn’t fishing for any sympathy, he simply felt sad as their relationship gasped for breath on the table.</p><p>“I definitely don’t deserve another chance… again. But if you’ll let me, I wanna spend every day after this making it up to you.” He knew it was bold, but Eddie took the opportunity to follow his natural inclination and go for his hand. He laced their fingers and sandwiched Buck’s palm between his own and a shockwave sent goosepimples up each arm.</p><p>Buck didn’t try to free himself from Eddie’s hold, but he didn’t seem directly receptive, either. Eddie didn’t want to rush him, but the longer the silence persisted the more it felt like a punishment of sorts. He decided if that was the way Buck wanted to treat him that he would allow it; he’d certainly earned it and Buck had put up with so much worse.</p><p> </p><p>“I let you treat me that way because I wanted to be around you so bad, Eddie- and Chris. But I don’t know if I can keep doing that. I <em>liked</em> all those little touches and the way he would compliment me, and the way he put me before everything else. He always made me feel like I could do anything. Even if I already knew that I could, it was nice for somebody else to believe in me, you know? I’ve never been important to anybody. It was a good feeling that I didn’t want to lose. He made me feel special even if I’m not.” Buck did take his limb back after that revelation, and though Eddie wanted to keep that skin to skin contact because he’d never felt so high- he knew it wasn’t his call to make.</p><p>“You’ve always been both of those things to me, I just need to work on showing you that. I’ll do anything I have to do to make you believe how much you matter to me, and to Christopher. He’s got me on the silent treatment right now because he knows there’s something going on between us and he hates me for it, too. But I can’t function without my boys, Buck. I need you.”</p><p>“And I wanna be there for both of you- but I need things, too, Eddie. Frankly, I don’t think you can handle it,” Buck assessed and Eddie’s face twisted into a slightly offended scowl.</p><p>“What is that supposed to mean?” he asked, partly ribbing him and partly needing an honest summation. There wasn’t enough oxygen in the entire hospital to replace Eddie’s breath when Buck actually gifted him a smile.</p><p>“It means I like to go all out when I’m seeing somebody, and I don’t know if you’re ready for that. You can’t even accept the idea of us as literally just an <em>idea</em>. How are you gonna react if I wanna hold you when other people are there? What if somebody accidentally sees us kiss, is that gonna be the end of the world for you? Are you gonna freak out when I want you to suck my dick? What if somebody asks you who we are to each other- who I am to Chris? I don’t want to have to keep denying myself things and being guilty because I’m upset that you’re not down with it yet. I want to give you time, Eddie… but I feel like I have. I’ve given you a lot of time. And you still can’t come around.”</p><p>Buck was right, but Eddie wanted to prove him wrong. He’d not ever had a problem being close to Shannon in public, or trying new things with her in the bedroom if she asked. He deemed it no different than what Buck was demanding.</p><p>“I guess I’m hoping that you’ll let me show you that I’m capable of being the one who holds you first, maybe I can even kiss you in front of everybody because I want to. Maybe I’ve already thought about sucking your dick and I can’t wait to do it,” Eddie posed as he looked down at Buck’s crotch subconsciously. He was blessed with a giggle as Buck’s cheeks blushed just enough for it to show.          </p><p>“I don’t expect you to change who you are,” Buck told him as if he were under the impression that had been the only reason Eddie had said those things.</p><p>“Maybe it’s just me becoming who I’m supposed to be,” Eddie observed as they caught stares. The affection that Eddie used to see so clearly had come back to his eyes and it seemed he’d been forgiven, but before he could push the issue, he heard somebody swing the door open.</p><p> </p><p>“Good evening, Mr. Buckley, time for your antibiotics,” a middle-aged nurse said as she looked down at the chart in her left while she held a small plastic cup with the right. “If you need some more water I’d be happy to- Oh!” she stopped mid sentence when she saw Eddie standing at the bedside.</p><p>“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you had a new visitor. Is this another friend of yours from the fire station?” the woman asked kindly.  </p><p>Buck hesitated and it crushed Eddie’s sails. He hated seeing that panicked look on his face, suspended between responses and unsure of what to say. Living up to his promise, Eddie took his hand into his own again while he told her, “Uh, no, I’m his partner, Eddie.”</p><p>It was difficult to determine who’d been more shocked, Buck or the nurse. She raised her eyebrows and gave him a quick once-over before she turned to her patient and nodded her approval. “Well it’s very nice to meet you, I’m glad to know that he has somebody to take care of him when he gets out of here in a few days.” The nurse came around the opposite side and poured some water into an existing cup sat on his bedside table. “Down it goes,” she told him as she handed him both vessels and he drank one after the other as he kept his gaze glued to Eddie.</p><p>After she’d left the room, Eddie let the breath he’d been holding go and rested his chin atop his folded arms while he leaned on the bed railing. “If that’s okay with you, obviously,” Eddie asked for permission after the fact, but Buck didn’t seem to mind.</p><p>“I’ve only been trying to get you to say that for, like, a year,” Buck teased.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie reveled in the normalcy that had found its way back to their interaction, but the new warmth that washed over every inch of his body reminded him that this time it was better. It didn’t seem fast enough that he be allowed to soak it up with Buck being confined to the hospital, but Eddie wanted to establish his claim formally.</p><p>“When are you supposed to be getting out of here exactly?” Eddie asked him while Buck reached for his touch. Eddie couldn’t oblige quickly enough.</p><p>“They said in, like, a week. But I’m not supposed to go back to work until two weeks after that, and that’s only if they clear me. So I’m just gonna have to wait it out at home. Maddie said she’d come by every day to check on me.”</p><p>Eddie couldn’t stop his nose from scrunching in a displeasing grimace. “She could… or maybe Chris and I could come stay with you until you’re ready to go back to work?”</p><p>It felt surreal when Buck nodded gently, but Eddie was beyond grateful when he did. “I’d like that.”</p><p> </p><p>As he’d vowed, Eddie stayed by Buck’s side for the next month while he’d remained suspended from duty on an injury and even though it was a little turbulent at first, it had blossomed into the easiest relationship Eddie had ever been in. To say that Chris had been happy about the development would’ve been an understatement. He accepted their new status with enthusiasm, and Eddie had been allowed to tell his family on his own terms since he’d been given the mercy to take it slow. When they’d all sent best wishes and congratulations, Eddie felt that mental block he’d always carried completely shatter until it held him back no more.</p><p>He’d gone back to work on his regular shift, and though things between Eddie and Thomas had been pretty tense while Buck had been out on leave, it escalated tenfold when he’d returned. Perhaps it had been a bit much for them to arrive his first day back holding hands as they walked in, but Eddie had made it a habit to indulge when Buck decided that he wanted to get close. He swore to himself that he’d never refuse him again.</p><p>Buck still got a little skittish sometimes, and Eddie had expected that to happen at the firehouse. But he’d thought Chimney would be the one person who’d help Buck to ease into it. The moment he approached them, Buck ripped their grips apart and stepped away so that their shoulders no longer brushed as if his brother-in-law didn’t know that they’d been sleeping in the same bed for the past couple weeks.</p><p>“Heeeyy, there he is,” he greeted him as he came in for a hug. “Good to have you back, man,” Chim said.</p><p>“Thanks, it’s good to be back,” Buck replied.</p><p>“Ya did good, Diaz- he’s like a spring chicken,” Chim joked as he gave Eddie’s shoulder a light punch.</p><p>“Well, your girlfriend threatening me every day was some pretty hefty motivation to keep a close eye on him,” Eddie remarked.</p><p>The feeling was palpable when Thomas came down from the kitchen even though Eddie had not yet recognized his presence. A lull froze the room and intuitively Eddie closed the gap between his and Buck’s bodies possessively. He’d not heard anything about what Thomas may or may not have known about their new development, but he wanted him to be absolutely fucking certain that Buck was with him.</p><p> </p><p>All day he’d made it even more of a point than he normally would to stake his claim and be sure that everyone else knew it. At first he’d considered that it was possibly grossing out every one of his colleagues and that perhaps he should tone it down. But since he’d been allowed the chance to touch him whenever he wanted and dote on him with all the love he felt in his soul, and show him off because he was the most incredible catch Eddie had ever managed, he wouldn’t keep from doing just that. Over time, it seemed that pretty much all of their peers had no problem with the amount of attention they paid each other.</p><p>“Hey, come here for a second,” Eddie asked Buck one afternoon while the station was quiet and nobody seemed to be around. Unwilling to catch his response, Eddie tugged his boyfriend by the elbow until they were poorly tucked away in the entry to the hallway that lead to the dorms and the bathrooms.</p><p>The moment Buck’s back was to the wall Eddie attacked him with a lust that seemed inappropriate for their setting. He’d gotten better about actual public displays of affection, but he had always tried to keep it PG at work for fear of both of them appearing unprofessional. He’d certainly not meant for them to be seen in such a steamy state, but it was a welcome surprise when it turned out to be Thomas coming toward them as he made to exit past them.</p><p>Not quite out of pity, Eddie broke them apart instantly because of the workplace aspect. It was unexpected when Buck fisted his uniform top in both hands and brought him back to his chest. Eddie expected him to say something as he gave them a dirty look and took a breath with parted lips as if he wanted to give a speech, but he just continued on his way. He’d really not said much since the dynamic had returned to normal throughout the team.</p><p> </p><p>The next day Buck and Eddie arrived for work a bit earlier than expected because Chris’s school decided to host a Donuts with Dad breakfast and he’d elected to bring them both. With not enough time to go back home being an option, they sat in the car using their extra time to grope each other and make out. Eddie had to pause it when he saw Thomas walking out of the building without his duffle bag or his pride. Eddie practically threw Buck off of him so that he could jump out of the vehicle in preparation to gloat.</p><p>“Oh, hey Thomas,” he started in a cheerful and upbeat way.</p><p>Thomas didn’t answer, like he’d expected that he wouldn’t. He only frowned in his direction and began to divert his path.</p><p>“You’re not changing shifts are you?” Eddie feigned consideration as he followed him immaturely across the parking lot. “I had a feeling you might do that,” he added as Thomas got to his truck. He hesitated outside like he were trying to decide if he wanted to say anything or not, and Eddie felt his adrenaline on overdrive as he loaded a verbal arsenal to match any phrase that would come from his enemy’s mouth.</p><p>Eddie tried not to be too disappointed when Thomas chose to leave it alone.</p><p>“And now you’re not even gonna say anything?” Eddie prodded. He was expecting to be able to rub it in far more than that.</p><p>“What is there to say, Diaz? You won, I lost, I get it. No need for you to be so classless.”</p><p>“Doesn’t look very good, does it?” Eddie said when Thomas opened the door and started to get into the cab.</p><p>“I would’ve gotten him if you didn’t have that kid, you know,” Thomas tried as he turned to face him one last time. “He’s the only perk you had going for you- he’s the only reason he wanted you back.”</p><p>“Really? That’s funny because we’ve actually been exploring all the different perks I have to offer him, and he’s been loving it.” Eddie hadn’t meant to be so crass but with the invitation present, he needed to take it before it was gone.</p><p>Thomas couldn’t find anything to say in return, so Eddie felt he would close the argument for them both. “Well, I’ll let think about that while I go choke on that cock before we go in for work.”</p><p>He didn’t even need to see the look on Thomas’s face. Eddie felt satisfied knowing that he would be able to do exactly what he said and they wouldn’t have to deal with anything keeping them divided ever again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I don’t intend to cast anyone into an unfair or negative light with this work. This fictional piece is only my idea of one way the requited love situation between these two characters could have gone down. I also have another piece where there isn’t any of this drama and they still get to be together, so I don’t want it to seem that I dislike or am bent about any of these characters in anyway! If you made it this far, thank you! If you liked it, thank you! If you didn’t, thank you for at least having an opinion on something I put effort into. I appreciate it all! ✌🏼</p>
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